You want WHAT?

I'm sure you'll agree that trying to get the copy of a document certified can be a tad inconvenient.

Mthatha takes this inconvenience to a whole new level...

Off I go to Mthatha Plaza to do a few chores, including buying a Pilates mat (Don't ask.  I'll tell you when the pain subsides).  I pop into the first bank I see - ABSA.  Nope, they won't certify my copy, they only do internal bank stuff.  I told them that Standard Bank does it.  Fine, they said, go to Standard Bank.

But they won't do it either.

Me: But they do it in Cape Town.
Her: Well, we don't do it here.
Me: Then where must I go?
Her: The police station.
Me: Where's that? (Uh oh, here we go again )
Her: In Madeira Street

(Madeira Street is the N2. It also has a very complicated system of one-ways with three lanes and taxis double-parking as far as you can see.)

Eventually I find it, and a parking bay.  These entrepeneurial chaps have set up shop outside the cop shop, and were quite busy.  Also quite puzzled when I asked if I could take a photo.

Pop-up Print Shop.  Who needs Top Copy when you have a generator, laptop, scanner and printer?

Surprisingly, there was no queue inside the police station.  But no, the lady behind the counter said, we can't certify your copy.

Me: Seriously?
Her: Yes, we're a satellite station.  Only the main station can certify copies.  But you can go to a post office.
Me: Where's the closest one?
Her: Yho.  It's complicated to explain with all the one-ways...

I got there eventually, and was confronted with a scene much like this:

Bob took this photo of the Post Office on 7 April.

I spotted a door with a sign:  Branch Manager Tel:  047 531 1869.  Ha!  I thought, I'll just phone and ask which is the right queue to stand in.

Why was I surprised when there was no answer?

Then I spotted an employee at a desk helping a customer fill in a form, so thought I'd ask her.

Her: You must go to Counter 10
Me: But don't you do it here? (I'd spotted the rubber stamps on her desk)
Her: Yes, but you have to get a copy first
Me: I have my own.
Her: No, you must get one from the Post Office.  From Counter 10.
Me: But why? Surely my copy is good enough?
Her: No, you must get a copy from Counter 10.
Me: Look at my copy, you can see there's nothing wrong with it

She tries a different tack...

Her: You don't have to pay for the copy, it's free
Me: I don't mind paying, I just don't want to stand in a queue when I have a perfectly good copy.
Her: But you must pay to have the document certified.  One rand.
Me: I don't mind paying the one rand, but I do mind standing in a queue.
Her: You must pay your one rand at Counter 10. You can ask the people in the queue if you can go in front of them.

Yeah right. Like I'm keen to jump that queue.

Realising that this was going nowhere, I asked where else I could get my (now rather tatty) copy certified.

Her: An attorney or an accountant.

I knew that.

I find an accountant's office without too much difficulty.  Except that it's now 1.30pm and he's on lunch. The receptionist told me that he wasn't expected back today and there was no-one else who could help me, so I should try an attorney.  There is one in Leeds Road.

Hurrah, I know where that is!

In Leeds Road, a sign outside a block of flats proclaims the presence of an attorney.  After traipsing up and down stairs looking for signage, I ask a resident for help. Number One, she says.  Number One is locked. And silent.

As I head for my car, I see another attorney's office over the road.  Hope springs eternal...

Well, this encounter was well worth the hassle of the journey.  I met an incredibly interesting woman, who not only willingly certified my copy, but was happy to spend some time chatting.

Gogo, as her staff call her, started her working life as a teacher, but was forced to leave teaching when she got married (those were the rules back then).  She then became a nurse.  During that time, she started her family and studied law.  After leaving nursing, she worked in London, Cape Town, Soshanguve, East London and elsewhere, doing all sorts of law stuff, including writing parliamentary legislation. She returned home to Mthatha in 2009, vacating the position of Senior State Law Advisor: Department of Justice. She is a great-grandmother and her three children have settled all over the world.

I hope I have chance to meet her again and get to know her better.

Does anyone need a document certified?  I know just where to go...